beliefovermisery | (no subject)

Current Mood: exhausted

(no subject)

Eventually bullied into lying down and closing his eyes, Sokka has a hard time getting to sleep. But each time an idea forms, a new project, something he has to write down, there's someone there to push him down the second he pops up. After so many scoldings, so many hours of sleepless work, he does eventually conk out.

It's a deep sleep. Not a dreamless one.

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He didn't shout - he didn't even swat at the stupid penguin. For the first time, he ignored the slight and stood, picking up his pack. It was too big for his arms, but it was no less than what the other men were bringing and he had to keep up...

He wanted to tug her braid, to say he was kidding, to bring her along because someone would need to irritate him on the trip...

But he left.

When he came back hours later, he had laid down on his sleep roll and ignored her questions. It was the first time he'd cried since the raid, in his father's arms. He wouldn't do it again.

The next morning, she would not let him out of her sight, as if doing so would make him disappear just like everyone else in her life.

Katara needed her big brother.

And he needed her, she reminded him, as they were walking across the ice towards their boat, two years older. She was pretty good at catching fish every so often with her bending, and sometimes, well, she did just like to get out of the hut.

"--I want to come!"

"No, Katara," he snapped, his spear over his shoulder as he headed toward the canoes. He knew he wouldn't have been so short with her if he hadn't lost sleep last night, putting Flo out again. His blankets had been singed and he was cold the rest of the night, but...

"Fishing is a man's job! And you said you still had mending to do!"

The part that knew this was a dream winced.

"But I can catch more fish than you sometimes!" she pointed out, frowning. "And I finished the mending anyway!"

"Well, you're distracting! And-- a girl!"

When in doubt, fall back on that.

But, of course, she had come with him. And what happened after...

It happened just like it had happened. They nearly caught some fish, they argued, their boat got caught up in the currents and got crushed in the ice.

But this time, they didn't get up, argue, and find Aang.

This time as they went sliding onto the ice, Katara slipped off into the icy water.

"Sokka!" she burbled, trying to claw her way back onto it, and kept slipping off. "Help me!"

This was different. This was wrong.

He watched her slide, felt his arm give around her. He remembered it being tight, holding her close, clinging to the ice himself with one hand, but she slipped.

He watched her slide...

But didn't reach.

The part that knew it was a dream screamed in his mind, but really... he watched her slide into the ice, the freezing cold... he watched...

"Sokka!" her voice was hysterical and shaky from the cold. "Sok--S-s-sokka, p-please!"

Her eyes welled up with tears that froze on her face--she was freezing all over, ice spreading up her skin and over her face, tinging her lips blue. Frost clung to her eyelashes.

"You-you p-promised! You p-promised y-y-you would protect me!"

And then her hands slipped off the ice and she disappeared under the water.

He watched.

He watched and when she was gone and bubbles rose from the water below, he turned away from her, turned his back on her to find the canoe.

His father was there, on his boat with the other men, Bato behind him... all staring at him... all looking disappointed...

"I told you to protect her," his father said, eyes shamed, ashamed.

"You told me you wanted to be a warrior," Bato said behind him, shaking his head in anger.

Sokka stood there on the ice and watched them move away, watched them disappear in the distance. When he looked behind him, the bubbles were gone...

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