(no subject)

[beliefovermisery]

Steph's off doing-- something. Sokka doesn't know. He didn't know how much time he'd have to himself to use the radio, but he did it anyway and now...

Now, there's work to do. There's a storm coming and he needs to finish the igloo and move the supplies in, go hunting to make sure there's enough leather and fur for Steph to make good clothing for herself. He needs to smoke some meat and make jerky so they won't have to leave the igloo while it snows. He needs to...

To do anything else that won't make him think of what his sister said.

Comments

[notanoptimist.livejournal.com]

"No, you're not."

Low and bitter, hurt and angry.

"You're sorry I'm angry at you, that I didn't just forgive you and let you stay and never say anything about it. You're not sorry about just dropping in here without warning, or saying anything you just said.

"Get back in the fucking tent, Steph. I have work to do."

[alwaysroomforhope]

"No," Steph clarifies, words falling crystalline in the still air around them, "I'm sorry I hurt you."

She looks at him steadily and doesn't move.

"You're right, though. I'm not sorry I'm here. You need me."

[notanoptimist.livejournal.com]

"Why?" Sokka snaps, hands fisted at his sides and furious. "Because you want me to need you? Not good enough. I needed time and space after my sister died, and what did I get? I got shit from the two people who're supposed to love me the most.

"You didn't come here for me so stop acting like it."

[alwaysroomforhope]

"No," Steph says again, folding her arms, going still.

(it's like he's cutting her up with words, sharp and tearing and all the more hurtful because, at least a little bit, they're true. But only inside. She can't - won't - show it.)

"You need me because if you don't have anyone to shout at or make you feel things you'll turn into an iceblock yourself and you'll think that's OK."

[notanoptimist.livejournal.com]

"Wow, Dr Steph, that's deep. And really helpful."

He nods - behind her, to the growing clouds, dark and vengeful.

"I need to finish this. Get out of my way."

[alwaysroomforhope]

Steph steps aside, sketching a mocking bow.

She pulls her hood tight over her face and leans down to start spreading the snow in preparation for the next layer of blocks to make the wall, silent and stubborn and staying right there.

[notanoptimist.livejournal.com]

"Without you."

[alwaysroomforhope]

Steph lifts the iceblock herself, works it into place. Blue eyes glare at him over the top of it.

(if she speaks she might cry)

She ducks back down to pick up another one.

[notanoptimist.livejournal.com]

His hands clench tight at his sides.

He might be stronger than her but she could outfight him and he just wants her to go .


"Steph. There's a storm coming. One of the blocks is already out of place. If you don't want to freeze to death, move and let me work."

[alwaysroomforhope]

Steph stops, glancing at her work, furious. He was fine to let her help before, now suddenly it's crap?

She drops her handful of gluing snow and turns to head straight for the red hide tent, shoulders stiff and angry. Her pack is still at the back of the hide tent, and she already knows the small tent inside it will keep out a blizzard as long as she stays inside, keeps the layers on. Modern technology wins anyway. This whole thing was a stupid idea. She'll call Hal after the storm, she thinks, stalking away, and then stops dead in the snow because did she really just think about leaving?

No. No way. She'll wait out the stupid storm in her own stupid little tent and she'll stay and help her stupid, stupid boyfriend whether he wants her to or not.

[notanoptimist.livejournal.com]

Because that's exactly what he needs, or asks for.


The blocks are out of place but not by much. He could have showed her how to fix them. He could have taught her this, how to survive in this world he knows.

Loo stopped asking for you.

He's not ready yet.

Don't be sorry.

He can still hear her voice.

You're not trying to confront yourself.

He isn't right and he's not ready.



But he can build an igloo.

[alwaysroomforhope]

Emerging from the hide tent with her back, Steph ... sits down on it, instead of unpacking and digging out the tent, and puts her face in her hands for a second.

Just a second. Then she's sitting there to watch Sokka work, resentful and guilty and hurting and with harsh and true words ringing in her head.

She's too old to feel like this. Drawing a deep breath, she folds her legs up under her, tucks her hood down to protect her from the wind, and lets her breathing relax into meditation, counting heartbeats to force herself to be calm, eyes closed.

In.

Probably shouldn't have come.

Out.

Invaded is the right word.

In.

He wasn't this angry this morning.

Out.

Something happened.

In.

He had the radio. Called Mel.

Out.

Didn't go well. Or maybe it's not that. Maybe it's me.

In.

Is it possible we're over?

Out - and she chokes slightly on laughter, both of ridicule at the thought and of relief that the thought was so ridiculous. It's always nice to know. Damn, there went her rhythm.

In.

Out.

In.

What if it's not ridiculous to him?

Out.

Worry about that later. Breathe.

In.

Breathe.

Out.

Breathe.

[notanoptimist.livejournal.com]

Because in the silence of this world, where cracking ice and blowing wind are just background noises, none of that is a distraction.


Place the block, glue it down tight, check and make sure there are no cracks or spaces. Check the whole structure. Add another block. Repeats.


She just missed him.





He can't talk about this now.